Oliver Stone should stay away from 9/11

So the news is out that Oliver Stone is set to direct the first big-budget 9/11 movie and it will star Nicolas Cage. At first I promised myself not to write about this because my dad likes Oliver Stone movies (and I do to, the early ones) but I couldn’t help it after reading this great post about it. It’s mostly Stone’s knee-jerk reactions to events that bother me about him–like that all-important meeting with Fidel Castro that was apparent such good PR that Sean Penn (another great talent with a lack of decision making skills) decided to follow in his footsteps and go off to Baghdad at the worst time possible. Stone’s made some good movies –Platoon, Wall Street, Born on the Fourth of July–and some bad ones–Natural Born Killers, Any Given Sunday–but what bothers me about this choice is that he’ll be the one to show the world Hollywood’s response to 9/11. One of Ollie’s big faults is his addiction to conspiracy theories–even when he, as in JFK, needs to invent facts in order to make his theories fit with reality. Will he do that with this movie?

I fear we’ll get an overblown, fatalistic, conspiracy-ridden tale starring another one of Hollywood’s great Wasted Talents, Nic Cage.

Nic, where have you gone? HBO was showing Peggy Sue Got Married the other day and he was fantastic! And Raising Arizona, Moonstruck, Leaving Las Vegas, and even more recently Adaptation, all testify to his ability to make you love and feel pain, yet these days he seems content to act in the worst shit possible!

So Nic and Ollie will either come up with a masterful rendering of the American psyche or a melodramatic soap opera indicting who knows what groups as conspirators in the tragedy. Check out the “dialogue” from the film that Danielle Crittendon at the Huffington Post “found”:

INT.POLICE STATION, LOWER MANHATTAN—EARLY MORNING

McLoughlin and Jimeno are at their desks, scanning the newspapers and drinking coffee.

McLOUGHLIN
Beautiful day, huh Jimeno?

JIMENO
Beautiful.

McLOUGHLIN
Yesiree. Couldn’t be nicer.

McLoughlin whistles to himself. Jimeno rises to get more coffee from a nearby percolator.

JIMENO
Want another?

McLOUGHLIN
No. I’m good.

JIMENO
Greenberg called in sick today.

McLOUGHLIN
Uh huh.

JIMENO
So did Feinstein.

McLoughlin looks up from his paper.

McLOUGHLIN
What, is it a Jewish holiday?

JIMENO
Don’t think so, Sarge.

McLOUGHLIN
Alternate side of the street parking
rules aren’t suspended today?

JIMENO
Nope.

McLOUGHLIN
Huh. Maybe it’s one of the more obscure
Jewish holidays. Don’t they all come up
about now?

JIMENO
How the hell do I know? I’m Irish.

McLOUGHLIN
(thoughtfully)
Come to think of it, I heard Birnbaum didn’t
show on the overnight shift neither.

JIMENO
What’s going on?

McLOUGHLIN
Don’t know. But one thing’s for
sure: the Jews aren’t showing up
for work today.

McLoughlin returns his attention to his newspaper.

CUT TO: Ominous scene of passenger plane being cleared for takeoff at Logan airport.

CUT TO: McLoughlin and Jimeno back in the police station. Jimeno is standing by a bank of radios, idly monitoring them. McLoughlin is still reading the paper.

McLOUGHLIN
I’ll never understand business.

JIMENO
Why’s that, Sarge?

McLOUGHLIN
Listen to this story: Halliburton—you know,
the big oil company, Cheney’s old outfit.
Well here they are taking out some option on
the World Trade Center property. The thing is,
the property’s only valuable if
there’s nothing on it.

JIMENO
I don’t get it.

McLOUGHLIN
That’s what I’m saying. Neither do I. No one
in their right mind is going to tear down those towers.
Those damn towers are going to be there for a
thousand years. In a thousand years
future tourists are still gonna be visiting them,
marveling at the. …

JIMENO
(with sudden alarm)
What the heck?!

McLOUGHLIN
What?

JIMENO
I just heard something…

McLOUGHLIN
Turn up the radio. Turn it up!

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One thought on “Oliver Stone should stay away from 9/11

  1. don’t worry, i’m pretty sure there’s at least one other September 11th movie in development right now so maybe another studio will beat ollie to the punch. but the other one probably won’t be any good either.

    oh, and p.s. don’t forget valley girl as a high point in (of?) nicolas cage’s ouevre

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