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Okay, so we know that he's in some rehab center in South Africa(!). But isn't funny the way these news stories/detective hunts keep reappearing? Where's the kidnapped bride? Oh, she's a runaway bride! Where's Chappelle? The summer of 2001 was all about where's Chandra Levy? When a certain terror attack occurred, we stopped looking for her and starting hunting for Osama. Can't find him, so we looking for mentally exhausted celebrities and brides-to-be. We're always looking for someone.

By the way, where the fuck is Osama? Every once in a while a story shows up that asks this question. It did today. And I love that the answer is always reduced to: Bin Laden is quiet because of "international pressure" or our military "success." Bin Laden is quiet because, um, if he wasn't we'd KILL him.

Meanwhile, the search (and finding of) Chappelle is funny because just yesterday ads for his new, cancelled season showed up in the subways.